TPV:  Jason McKinney is a writer and storyteller. A busy husband and father of three, he started writing fiction in his spare time for his wife. Dog World is the written answer to his seven-year-old daughter’s questions: Are there any good werewolves and what do they do when they weren’t hairy? McKinney is also the author of the zombie comedy, Memoirs of the Walking Dead: A Story from the Zombies Point of View. He resides in Madison with his family and seven pets.

SYNOPSIS of Dog World:

As the war in Iraq gathered momentum in 2003, a separate, secret conflict took shape between humans and lycanthropes, or lycans – biped wolves that consume human flesh. Galvanized by the growing human conflict across the globe and intent on seizing the opportunity, the werewolves launch a full-scale assault on humanity, decimating the population and changing the course of history. Captain Paul Demarti, a U.S. soldier on the front lines in Iraq, is among the survivors of the attack and now leads a small band of determined fighters hoping to preserve the human race. As borders between ally and lycan blur, paranoia and anxiety mount. The group learns they must trust one another and work together in order to survive. Hope dwindles as the conflict continues and the humans must decide what they are willing to sacrifice in order to create a future for their kind. Readers craving a compelling story coursing with humor will relish sinking their teeth into Jason McKinney’s furiously fast-paced and viciously fanged Dog World.

TPV:  You can find my review of Dog World at the May 4 entry of my Livre Revue.  And now, a special offering by Jason McKinney, The Easter Werewolf: 

The werewolf crept through the Black Forest, intent on killing a boar rooting for tubers beside a pine tree. Usually they stayed away from his home out of fear, but this one hadn’t.

He anxiously approached the animal, pausing only when he caught a whiff of chocolate. He stared intently at it and for a brief moment saw the biggest rabbit ever. ‘Is that a rabbit? That can’t be a giant rabbit.’ He rubbed his eyes and a shimmering boar reappeared. The air around it had a luster and as he moved closer the smell of sweet spring grass filled his nose. His instincts told him to leave the creature alone, that there was something off about it. He suspected that what he was doing might be wrong, but went ahead anyway.

The werewolf was Johannes Schrader and he’d been turned three years before by his wife. If not for their silver mantle clock, she would have killed him. Their son, Hartwin, had been safe in his room and hadn’t witnessed the attack. Fortunately he had escaped his father’s fate.

Johannes moved closer, but he still found it difficult to see clearly. Maybe it was the gloom and the surrounding vegetation that was interfering with his vision. Having his vision and senses clouded during a hunt had never happened before. ‘Ach, I can’t believe my sight’s going. After this, I’m sticking to gardening.’

The animal stopped moving and looked up in time to see Johannes’ lunging figure. “Holy freaking crap!” it squeaked as Johannes collided with it.

The fight was short and not as brutal as Johannes thought it should be. Boars were usually ferocious beasts when cornered, but this one yelped and squealed loudly before dying.

The blurring slowly faded and the creature’s true form appeared. Johannes brayed in alarm as he transformed into his human body.

The animal had been a rabbit the entire time. The rabbit’s fur was a shade of white he’d never seen before and a dark maroon vest covered its chest. Next to the body lay a pair of spectacles and a rolled piece of paper protruded from a vest pocket.

A coarse expletive left his mouth. “What have I done?” He gathered his courage and pulled the paper from the rabbit’s vest. A dazzling gold pocket watch fell out as he pulled the paper free. Its chain was so brilliant that it seemed to illuminate the surrounding grass.

A lesser being would’ve snatched the chain and watch from the body first, but Johannes was more interested in the scroll. He unrolled it and read the list of elegant, handwritten names.

His hands trembled and he stifled a scream. ‘You’re a filthy little murdering cretin,’ whispered a voice in the back of his mind. ‘You’ve killed the Easter Bunny. Good job, Johannes. This will certainly set you high on Hartwin’s list.’

He wanted to tell the voice to mind its own business, but Johannes wasn’t up for talking to himself.

He scanned the list a fourth time, confirming what he didn’t want to see. Fifth from the top was Hartwin’s name, followed by the words “NEW FOLLOWER”. He knew the children listed before and after Hartwin though he cared little for them at that moment. What struck him the hardest was that only the four before Hartwin’s had been marked out. “Ausgezeichnet. Not only did I kill the Easter Bunny, but I did it in the middle of a deliveryફ to Hartwin. And this is why I don’t hunt often.”

Johannes didn’t know what to do. He stood, hands on top of his head, frantically pacing back and forth. He tallied matters up in his mind and couldn’t see a happy ending no matter what he did. “One. I can’t bring the Bunny home for a feast. Two. What am I going to do with the eggs and candy.”

The more he paced the more frightened he became. “To hell with the candy. What about the body? The body, the body. Damn it. What am I going to do with it? Oh, yes. There is now a special place in Hell for me for killing the Easter Bunny.” He gently nudged the body with his shoe. “Come on, little rabbit. On your feet and hop away.” The Easter Bunny didn’t move. He lifted the four foot tall creature to its feet and released it. “Run, mighty bunny!” The body collapsed into a heap. “Oh, God. Oh, Hell. Oh, scheisse! What am I going to do?” The only option open to him was burial.

He dug the grave with calloused lycan hands, all the while supplicating various known and made up deities for forgiveness with each handful of dirt. It took two hours to dig the grave by the tree. He made a crude grave marker with a piece of bark etched with an egg. “Now the trick is to never let Hartwin around this area for the next twenty years.”

He collected the Bunny’s glasses, pocket watch, and treats into the basket. He stopped short of placing the watch in his pocket and opened it. A picture inside showed that the Bunny had a wife and three children. The photo made Johannes mentally kick himself much harder. He decided to turn the Bunny’s personal effects over to the family, though he didn’t know how to go about it.

He unrolled the list and read it over again. He hoped it would change to a list of children to kill, but it remained the same. He shoved it into his pocket and trudged home, fearful of being discovered by Hartwin.

The boy had been looking forward to the Bunny’s arrival and Johannes had been sure its existence was a myth. He’d worked under the assumption that the Easter Bunny was simply a parent’s job as he stockpiled treats in the weeks leading to Easter. “How was I to know that a silly chocolate and egg delivering rabbit was real?” he grumbled.

Walking home had become the longest trip ever for him. His mind still reeled at how best to cover up his crime. “I’ll just scatter the treats like I had planned. Yes, that’ll be perfect. No one has to know.” Even spoken aloud it sounded like a terrible plan. “Murderer,” he mused as he paused at the water pump to clean his hands. “Now I can add that to my list of dubious accomplishments. At least I went all out and didn’t half ass it.”

He wiped his hands on his shirt, removed his shoes, and quietly crept into the house. Hartwin was asleep and hadn’t been disturbed by the commotion.

Turning to the kitchen after closing the front door he discovered that he was no longer alone. A beautiful, blonde woman dressed like a fairy in shimmering apricot and white stood in the kitchen, smiling wide at him.

“Hello.” His voice sounded small and child like. The thought, ‘this is odd,’ ran through his mind. He knew it was such a strange thing to say even though it fit the strangeness of the evening.

“You’re home!” She spoke with a twinkle in her eye then struck him across the face with her wand. It felt like he’d been hit with three axe handles at once. He crumpled to the floor and noticed two of his teeth lying on the ground. “Oooooh! Lycan teeth. I’ve never had these before.”

The fairy floated over to him and retrieved the teeth. Johannes tried to look up at her, but a gossamer covered shoe greeted his nose.

When he awoke he found himself tied to a chair with what he immediately thought of as spider’s web.

“That’s dental floss, silly.” The Tooth Fairy leaned forward and jerked out one of his eyelashes. His vision blurred and he forced his eyes onto her. Never before had he been so cruelly abused. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that fear and worry had been trumped by terror.

“Don’t hurt my son. Please.”

“Don’t be silly. I don’t hurt children.” She struck him again. “You, however, are another story. I could hurt you all day and night.” Fairy giggled and yanked on his hair. It was clear that she enjoyed her job. “Why’d you kill Chester?”

“Who?”

She delivered an open handed slap with the hardness of a frying pan to his face. “Chester. You know, the Easter Bunny. Why’d you kill him?”

“I didn’t know it was the Easter Bunny! Are you insane? Don’t you know what I am?”

“Oh we know exactly what you are, you naughty, naughty puppy.” A rotund man with a white beard, dressed as a woodsman appeared at his dinner table. “You’re a lycanthrope. Most commonly known as a werewolf.”

Fairy slapped him twice more.

“That’s enough, Felicia. The more I look around, the more I believe Chester’s death to be an accident.”

“Who are you people? What have you done with Hartwin?” Panic once again flowed into his mind. There was no possible way they were who he thought them to be.

“We’re exactly what you think we are,” answered Santa.

“You can read my mind?”

“Dear God, no. It’s just that’s the normal response we get when we’re found out. Usually we sprinkle some Amnesia Dust on people and that’s that. But you’ve done something grievous to one of us. You need to make amends.”

“Amends,” squealed Felicia excitedly. She struck him again, knocking him over.

“Damn it, Felicia, that’s enough!” Santa righted him, and began removing the binding floss.

“Papa? Is everything okay?” Hartwin stood in the doorway of his room, holding his stuffed bunny and rubbing his eyes.

“Run, Hartwin! Run!”

“No thanks, papa. It’s too late for me to have tea with you and the Herschels. I love you. Good night.”

“What? No, Hartwin! What are you talking about? These aren’t Herr and Frau Herschel. Run for help.”

Hartwin closed the bedroom door and Felicia and Santa chuckled.

“He can’t see us as we are and our magic prevents him from hearing what we’re really saying. He thinks we’re your neighbors having a bit of late night tea. Of course, you’ve already figured that out.

Santa removed the last of the floss. Johannes sprung from the chair toward Hartwin’s room and threw open the door. Instead of his sleeping son he saw a dark void.

“I can tell you’re a good father. Instead of attacking, you went to your child. I’m ruling Chester’s death as an accident.” Santa sipped the tea and grinned. “You make a great herbal tea, Johannes. Now let us get down to business. You’re a good boy and always have been. Even after your ‘change’ you remained true to your morals. Also, I was sad to see Klara turn on you like she did. You did what you had to so put your guilt to rest.”

“Guilt,” shrieked Felicia. She raised her wand, but was stopped by Santa.

Johannes shrunk away. He wasn’t sure his lycan abilities could protect him from the rabid, pain loving Tooth Fairy. He understood her to be the patron saint to dentists and serial killers.

“But I want another lycan tooth.” She pouted like a little girl being told she couldn’t have another cookie.

Santa rolled his eyes and then looked into the room’s far corner. “Ah, the widow arrives.”

Johannes looked to where Santa stared. He saw the air shimmer and part as a rabbit not unlike the Easter Bunny appeared. She wore spectacles as well and held a festive colored basket in the crook of her right arm.

“How are you, Beatrice?” Felicia ran to the new arrival and hugged her. “I’m sorry for your loss, but we have the vile, evil, malicious beast!”

“Thank you, Felicia.” Beatrice calmly pushed her away while giving her a wary look. It was clear that Beatrice wanted to keep Felicia at more than an arm’s length away. She looked at Johannes. He couldn’t tell much from her expression. “So you’re the one.”

Beatrice came face to face with him. He wanted to scream at what he thought was inevitable. Even while fearing for his life, he wondered why the Bunnies wore glasses when carrots were supposed to be good for eyesight.

“Please change.” Beatrice addressed him in a kindly manner. He didn’t like it. “I want to see what you look like.”

“Whatફ ma’am?”

“Change. Please.”

Her lack of animosity scared him even more, but he did as she asked.

She reached into her basket, produced a rolled up newspaper and smacked him across the nose.

“Bad dog! Bad, bad dog!” She smacked him once more.

Pain flooded his muzzle and tears sprung to his eyes. The blow had been just as bad as Felicia’s attacks. He felt something drip onto his shirt and was stunned to see blood. He’d never been hit hard enough while in lycan form to bleed. ‘That’s it,’ he thought. ‘I’m going to die at the hands of a deranged, grief stricken rabbit, a lunatic dental nurse, and a grandfatherly crime lord.’

“What are we going to do with him?” Beatrice joined Santa at the table and pulled a bottle of milk from her basket.

“I think he’s been punished enough.” Beatrice looked to Felicia.

“Punish the wicked.” Felicia spoke barely above a happy whisper. The smile that crawled across her face made everyone’s blood turn to arctic ice.

“You’re going to have to do something about her,” whispered Beatrice. “She’s going to go rogue one day.”

“I’d send her to Halloween Town, but she’d reduce the place to rubble. She scares the poltergeists to life.” Santa cast an eye to Felicia. She responded with a bigger smile and a jaunty wave.

Santa looked at Johannes and cleared his throat. “Beatrice is correct. You’ve been punished enough. The question of the hour is what to do about Chester’s route.”

Johannes had backed to the front door. He hoped to escape and get Hartwin from his room through the back window. The door knob refused to turn and grew red hot in his hands. Even in lycan form he couldn’t hold onto it. He moved away from it quickly, afraid that it would burst into flames.

“Let him take over Chester’s route. Easter Werewolf! Easter Werewolf!” Felicia jumped up and down and clapped happily.

“For the love of Burl Ives, will you calm down?” exclaimed Santa. “That’s got to be the most ridiculous-”

“It’s a great idea,” agreed Beatrice. “I love it.”

“I’m sorry, what? Him? He can’t do it. He’s a werewolf and an averie for crying out loud, Beatrice.”

“Wait a minute. You want me to do what? I’m a what?”

“You’re an averie,” answered Santa. “It means average person or being. Werewolves aren’t supernatural. Your condition is due to a virus. You know, like a flu bug except worse. You and vampires fall into the same category.”

“Vampires are real?” Johannes felt like the stupidest person on earth. Too many myths were being proved real and he wanted nothing more than to have his brain melt from it all.

“More wicked to punish!” Felicia twirled happily to the ceiling before returning to a hover.

“Yes, they’re as real as we are. Now, please can we get back to the topic at hand? Johannes, Beatrice thinks you should be the Easter Bunnyફ er, Werewolf. Whatever.” Santa waved his hand dismissively. “While I don’t agree with the idea, it is her right as the widow to make the call on who shall inherit Chester’s responsibilities.”

“You’re all out of your minds! This isn’t happening. No. It’s not real. I’m in my bed asleep and all this is a schnitzel and kraut fueled nightmare.”

“Felicia, please.” Beatrice raised a reluctant paw toward Johannes.

She moved faster than he could possibly anticipate and was struck by her fist. He twirled in the air, landing against the door. He immediately discovered that he preferred being hit with the wand.

“Not a dream! Not a dream!” Felicia danced across the floor before being stopped by Santa.

“Okay. This time he’s had enough.”

Johannes stood, his head rang and the room swam before his eyes.

“It’s real and it’s been decided. Welcome aboard, Easter Buફ Easter Werewolf.” Santa waved his hands in surrender. “Go forth, using the list and deliver the treats.”

“Wait a second,” roared Johannes. “That’s it? I’m the Easter Bunny? How am I supposed to do that? I don’t even want to do that!”

Santa blinked out first, winking and touching his nose.

Beatrice stopped mid-fade. “The glasses, Johannes. They slow time and give energy to do the job. Every year from here on you’ll get a stork delivered list with the names of who gets what. Be sure to follow it or there will be many disappointed children.” She blinked out of existence only to return two seconds later. “I’ll stop by tomorrow morning to check on you. Have fun!” She disappeared again and didn’t return.

The only ones left were Johannes and Felicia.

“Alone at last, alone at last. Whatever will I do?” She flittered to him before circling. Johannes braced for another blow.

She abruptly stopped before him and leaned toward his face. “Mess up and I’ll be back.” She motioned like she would hit him, but didn’t. She flitted into nothingness, laughing manically.

Alone and angry Johannes looked at the list and tossed it into the fire.

“Get to work, slacker” screamed Felicia from the ether.

He smirked for a moment, pleased that he no longer had the list. His smirk faded as discovered a replacement in his pocket. “For the love of God.”

The guilt he felt while looking at the list overtook him. He heard Beatrice’s reminder of disappointed children in his mind. Like it or not, he had to do something for them.

He looked in on Hartwin’s sleeping form. The boy’s breathing was visible until Johannes put the glasses on. He felt time slow and then shrugged at his new job.

Turning to the table he saw a pair of felt ears and the Easter basket. “You have got to be kidding.” He picked the ears up and examined them. “I’m not wearing these.” He tossed them into the fire and walked to the door with the basket.

A smack to the back of his head stopped him. He turned to see a flash dart by. Another hit sent his head forward and a giggle filled them room.

“I thought you should look the part.”

“When I get my hands on you-”

“But you won’t so get to it!”

He quickly transformed, ready to fight his useless battle and felt something on his head. It was the ears.

“Every time you change, they’ll be there. You look so cute.” Felicia’s voice then faded away.

“You’re a very bad tooth fairy.” He reached for the door, but was pushed into it before he could grasp the knob. He swore that one day, come what may, he’d get that tooth fairy.

The treat delivery for the first two houses was done with angry throws here and there, but it didn’t take long for him to be overcome with joy at his new station. By the end of the night he tenderly laid eggs in hiding spots as he found them.

At the last house on his list he was surprised to find a little girl awake and waiting for him.

“Oh, scheફ I meanફ hello, child,” he said with a nervous growl.

“You’re not the Easter Bunny.” The girl wasn’t afraid. Instead of hiding under her covers, she climbed from bed and padded toward Johannes.

“Yes, I am. I’m so the Easter Bunny.” The words hung in his throat. There was nothing bunny about him and she knew it.

“Really? You look like a wolf to me.” She stood on a chair and felt his furry face. He realized then that he’d removed the glasses. They’d chaffed his muzzle and he’d thoughtlessly taken them off before entering the home.

“This is what happens when you don’t eat your carrots.” He took a step back, not for her safety, but because he was afraid of a visit from Felicia.

“I thought rabbits liked carrots.”

“Well I don’t. And look what happened to me.”

“Hmph. Good thing I like carrots.”

“Yes. Good thing for you. Iફ I have to go.” Johannes put the glasses on and the little girl seemed to stop in mid-stride toward him.

“Good doggie.” Felicia’s voice seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere.

“I’ll good doggie youફ”

He left the house and looked to the empty basket and completed list. He breathed a sigh of relief as he dropped to all fours and ran home. The mantel clock said he’d been gone for only an hour and a half, but it felt like much longer.

He went to the table and was startled to see a roasted pig with all the trimmings. Beside it sat a note from Felicia, congratulating him on a job well done. Johannes kept his opinions to himself as he muttered thanks. He was unsure if she was nearby and he didn’t want to take the chance. He was also truly thankful for her gift.

He didn’t remember falling asleep, but he awakened hours later to a light tapping on his shoulder. He opened his eyes to find Beatrice sitting on his bed, smiling.

“You did well last night. I’m very proud of you. Chester would be very proud of you, too.”

He wiped the sleep from his eyes and sat up. “Thank you. Beatrice. I’m very sorryફ I’m sorry Iફ”

“We had a good life, Chester and I. You can’t help what you are any more than I can. I’m glad it was you and not another of your kind.”

Johannes wanted to weep, but couldn’t. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to stop if he started.

“Let me leave you with one final gift of the year.” Beatrice held a stubby finger to her muzzle and looked to the door. She stood proudly and smoothed out her apron moments before the door flew open.

“Papa! Papa! The Easter Bunny cameફ” Hartwin stood opened mouthed at the door, holding a chocolate cake in one hand and a brightly colored egg in the other. “The Easter Bunny,” he whispered reverently.

Beatrice winked and nodded to both. “See you next year,” she said and disappeared.

“The Easter Bunny’s real, papa!” Hartwin ran to him and they hugged each other closely. “She’s real and you know her!”

“Yes, honey. I know her.”

“Is she as nice as she seems?”

“She’s the best.”

A tear rolled from his check and he kissed Hartwin. Three soft voices whispered “Happy Easter” to them, leaving both with a sense of love and joy. It had been the best Easter for them and Johannes was proud to be the world’s first Easter Werewolf.

TPV:  Definitely a different take on the werewolf tale, and an enjoyable one, too.  Thanks for giving us a werewolf who is rending and tearing. 

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COMMENTAIRES

Jason you have such a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor that I love! Come on. I was cracking up several months ago at your zombie insect story. This was priceless as well.

Myra Nour.